Gemma went peacefully at home in my arms at 1.15pm today/

Big Hugs to you........................

So Sorry to hear this Lea..  She is running free already .. sending hugs to you at this awful time.    10 lovely years.

So sorry Lea..........you did everything possible for her though............

R.I.P Gemma XXX

Sorry to hear your sad news Lea. You couldn't have done anymore for her

Rest in Peace Gemma

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

{{{{ hugs }}}} to you and your family.

Gemma has very many wonderful friends, old and new, to greet her.  Teri xxx

I have rotties and know how they touch your heart RIP Gemma.

Comfort For A Friend

My friend I know you're hurting
with sorrow deep and true;
I wish that there was something
I could do for you.

To simply say "I'm sorry"
just doesn't seem to be
Enough to adequately express
my heartfelt sympathy.

Night has fallen on your heart
and cast a shadow long;
Your world is changed forever
you can't believe dear Gemma is gone.

You lost a family member
who was loved like all the rest;
A loyal, loving companion
who always gave her best.

But time will heal your broken heart
though it may take awhile;
Sweet memories will replace the loss
you'll think of Gemma and smile.

She 's crossed the Rainbow Bridge, my friend
and will never be alone;
She 's carefree and contented now
in her new celestial home.

In Loving Memory

Gemma

25th March 1997 to 4th December 2007

RIP Gemma
Run free now at the bridge.
Say Hi those all those we have lost over the years, I'm sure they are all welcoming you.
Aileen and the girls.
XXXX

God speed to The Bridge Gemma, may you find all your favourite toys & food waiting there

Mega cyber {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} to you

I got up this morning and she was still the same.
I carried her downstairs and she didnt want to go outside, so put her outside and she threw up a load of liquid which included bile.
The confirmed what I already knew, she was not going to get better.
Walked kids to school (they knew she was going today) and broke down outside school.
My mate drove me to the vets to make the appointment, and then took me to hers for a cuppa, then I came home and spent the next 3 1/2 just cuddling her. Stroking her, talking to her.
About 10,30 I was looking in her mouth (there was a strange smell) and saw what I thought was tissue stuck between her teeth. I pulled it out and park of her gum came with it and it stank. I think I pulled off something more sinister  
I am sure her body was shutting down 
Mum arrived at 12.55 and the vet and nurse arrived at 1.05.
They explained what they were going to do. Gemma already had shaved places from last week when bloods were taken.
Last week he found it hard to get any blood.
Shannon (the vet) said he blood pressure was very low.
She slipped away cuddled in my arms. So so peaceful. I sobbed, Shannon Sobbed. mum was sobbing. The only composed one was the nurse.
They gave me time to say goodbye on my own but I couldnt sit there with her for more than a few minutes knowing she was dead.
So I did the final thing I could do. I carried her to the car cuddled in my arms, and she was laid on the back seat of the vets car.
She is now at the vets who have a crematorium. Now I just have to wait for them to ring to tell me I can pick up her ashes.
I am sitting here alone again. Both kids at home but I feel so alone.
Run Free Gemma, my baby, my protector, my life.
Lea.

Lea, my heart goes out to you, what a journey you've both had, but what a fantastic life she had with you.  Always remember the good times. Thinking of you and your boys xx

Run free Gemma

Hugs to you and your family Lea

Sue

So sorry Lea to hear your sad news ,
Sending lots of love to you
Sharon x

You did the right thing, Lea. Never feel bad about giving her as much time as you could, and then drawing the curtains when the time was right. You gave her a loving, peaceful end, which is a huge blessing. Sleep peacefully, Gemma.

"Grief is the price we pay for love."

RIP and run free Gemma

So sorry Lea

God Bless you Lea, run free Gemma....

OMG Lea - I cried for you reading this - can't begin to imagine how you feel, but my thoughts are with you,

Maxine

im so so sorry Lea ,god bless you Gemma x

Run free Gemma, (((((((hugs)))))))))))

Lea,
     Thinking of you today.......
Run free Gemma........

(((Hugs))),
Gabrielle xxx

Big hugs for Lea, and God bless Gemma.

Dawn R.

Sending you big hugs

Jax x

Rest easy Gemma and run free x

Thinking of you lea

Much love Donna x
(and my boys x)

So sorry to hear this Lea,

Thinking of you and yours.

Run free Gemma,

Claire
x

Sorry never seams enough at this sad time,  Sending hugs

run free gemma

linda

Sorry to hear your sad news Lea....((xx))

Run free Gemma....(((((xxxx)))))

I am so sorry Lea.  Gemma is now at peace, running around with all her friends, without a care in the world.
{{{{hugs}}}} to you.

Kerri x

Hi Lea,

I read all about Gemma in my lurking days and she sounded wonderful. She had a super life with you and you did everything you could for her. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now but I wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you.

Alice xx

Hardest thing ever. Just remember the lovely memories that you have and be assured that you gave her the final kindness of knowing you were with her when she passed. Thinking of you.

Gemma, my life, my soal mate, my protector. 25/03/97 - 04/12/07

I apologise if this goes on too long or says things that people wont like. I will probably type it and never read it again, as I want to tell you about Gemma and what she really means to me.
And apologise as this will only be written once but will be posted in 3 places.
Gemma was born on 25th March 1997 at a 'rescue centre' Which knowing what I know now I wouldn't touch with a 200' barge pole.
I got her at 7 weeks old when I was still married to my ex husband.
Things weren't great, and she was shut away a lot of the time in the kitchen so her training was not great. My husband used to beat her when she did something wrong as well. To the end she like women but was very dubious of men until she got to know them. He made all of our lives a misery.
But she was walked and fed etc and I did love her.
When I split with my husband he was diagnosed a paranoid schitzophrenic about 6 months later.
I lived in fear of mine and my childrens lives, and without Gemma I would have been a jibbering wreck, But I knew she would protect me. For that I will always be eternally grateful, as for the past 8 years she has been my protector, if she was beside me I KNEW I would be ok. Even tho she knew my ex husband, I knew she would die for me, as proven when a game a boyfriend was having was getting a bit rough and she growled at him to stop. She was so protective of me and my 2 boys.
. As she was so boisterous she did only come in when the kids were asleep or out (I know, this was not good, but have learnt ALOT since) But she was never cold, never hungry and spent a lot of time with me in the evenings as my children only went to bed at 7. Although, now I reget the way she spent the first 4-5 years of her life as I was too young and didn't know enough about how to bring up a dog.
Then it all changed when I moved to a house with a garden. I don't know  what changed, me growing up, her knowing this house was the start of a new life due to me being more comfortable, Knowing that nooone from my old life knew where I was. I don't know but about 5 years ago everything changed.  She calmed right down and started spending all the time in the house. Even to the point of sleeping in my bedroom. At that point, she never left :o Don't get me wrong, for the first 5 years I loved her deeply, I just didn't treat her as I would have now after learning so much over the past 5 years, and my boys growing up.
It seemed to click with her, 5 years ago she went from being a nightmare dog, with no training due to me not knowing and my husband beating her up, to being a model dog.
I don't know what happened, but I think at some point I relaxed and she knew that.
Since then we have been sole mates. She has been more than a dog, she has been my life, a child to me.
About 6 months after the turning point I got Beano. And bless her, she put up with a lot from Beano and I only ever saw them cuddled up about 3 times!!!
We all went down to Cornwall a few years ago, and even duie to arthritis she managed to spend the whole 12 days walking with me, the kids and Beano. And still used the roll as protector as we stayed in a tent.
Then 18 months ago I thought I was going to loose her due top Pyometria and a lump.
She pulled through that.
Then I seemed to be in the vets with her every month. I thought she was holding on until I was  happy. But maybe she knew that she didn't need to protect me any more, so it was the right time to go.
I donnot know what she died of. But I know it was the time for her to go. Looking back on a video of this time last week, I think if I hadn't done the the most kindest thing I could have done for her on Tuesday she would have been suffering majorly now. She went down hill so rabidly.
I am ashamed that for the first 5 years I didn't know how to train her properly to not be so hyper, but I have grown up, I have learnt, unfortunately she was the one I learnt on. She taught me so much of dog ownership, and I don't think I will ever have the bond with any other dog that I had with my Gemma.
I feel so guilty for the first 5 years, and I told her that before she died,
I wish I could rewind time.
I loved her so much, I still think she will cme and nudge my arm for a stroke.
She is my life, she is my sole mate. I want to rewind time and change the first 5 years, I want to cuddle her as the 7 weeks old puppy I brought home that day and train her the way she should have been. Trained.
I loved her so much, but knew when the time was right for her to go.
I don't know what I will do without her as I am still living in fear, not so much these days, but it is always in the back of my mind. And now she will not be here,
I miss her grumbling when one of the other dogs goes near her.
I miss having to drag her out of bed, they do say like owner like dog!!! Sometimes she would not get up until 12!!! Even if I had got up at 9!!
I miss her so much.
I am hoping she is at the bridge and waiting for me. I am hoping that if my ex goes she will not go with him, as she only knew him for the first 18 hard months of her life.
I miss her so much. I want her here, to carry her limp body to the car, and lay her on the back seat , she looked as if she was just sleeping.
Rest in peace my sweet girl. When I reach rainbow bridge I expect your cold wet nose touching me as if to say, hey mum, where have you been I want a cuddle.
I cant believe I have typed all of this but I think her story needed to be told.
If Beano and Ebba could talk I believe they would thank her for teaching me what dog ownership really meant. And I am sure once they realise she is not coming back they will miss her as well.
I now just want her ashes back as I want her here with me now and will have her for always.
Lea.

That's lovely, Lea. Please, don't let the 20/20 vision of hindsight make you feel guilty. Gemma knew you loved her. The memories will get easier, I promise you. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Gemma that was lovely. I have never cried about a post on here but yours has done just that. You have nothing to be ashamed of for the first 5 years as you will have made up for it with all the love you gave her in the remaining 5.

Thinking of you at this hard time
Anna
xxx

Aww Lea, that was lovely
{{hugs}}
RIP Gemma, run free at the Bridge

What a lovely tribute to Gemma. And who of us can honestly say, hand on heart, we have never made a mistake with our dogs. You learnt from your mistakes - not everybody does One of the amazing things about dogs is that they don't judge us or criticise our ways they just love us for loving them.

I second Harley - a really lovely tribute.

Don't hold onto the guilt of the mistakes, realise that recognising, admitting and learning from them has made you so much stronger and wiser.

It sounds like Gemma was a very loving, and very loved family member.

Claire

Such a touching story.  Dont worry or waste time thinking of the first 5 years.  Honestly, we all learn what dog ownership is with the first dog, and I know from what you told us here, that you loved her very much.  You did right by her, and she by you. 

It is hard loosing a furbaby, as you know I am going through a similar situation with loosing my precious Old Twit Joy.  I realized that I can no longer question her life, all I can do is remember the good times.

Like the saying goes, dogs leave pawprints in your hearts.  I never really knew what that meant until Joy passed.  I always thought it was a nice quote, something to think about.  Until Friday, I always took for granted Joy being here.  Now I realize that dogs really do leave pawprints in your hearts.  (Sometimes after they pass, it feels like a 250 pound dog walking on it, with all the hurt) but as long as you can still feel those pawprints, they are never gone. 

Take peace in knowing that you did the best you could for her.  Take peace in knowing that she loved you so much she would do anything for you. 

It is hard, believe me I know, but as long as you keep thinking of the good memories, the precious moments you had with Gemma, you will NEVER be alone.  She will run to you when you arrive at Rainbow Bridge.  She will be yours again, and you will be hers.  She is watching over you, protecting you even now.  I truely believe that. 

My heart goes out to you. 

May Gemma and Joy keep eachother company until we arrive!

Crespin

Run free darling Gemma. And hugs to your mum who loved you so much. x

That was a beautiful tribute to Gemma.  She was obviously a very special girl who will always hold a special place in your heart.  Don't feel guilty about the early days, she showed she didn't hold anything against you and loved you very much.

Sandra x

Lea
I've followed your story on here and really feel for you.
Don't beat yourself up about the early days, you did what you thought was right.
I went through a similar thing with my first dog. I had an unhelpful husband and two small children. Her fur started to fall out and nothing the vet prescribed worked.
it was until we split that her coat started to regrow. i think she was stressed out with all the arguing
I'm sure Gemma wouldn't have changed you for the world. 

**hugs** Lea, only just spotted this

Run free Gemma

May our dogs find their friends at Rainbow Bridge.  During your sad time, my hugs go out to you.  I am sure you loved your dog, and that she knows you did.  Find peace in that, and Cherish the memories you have!

Hugs from a grieving dog mom to another!

Thankyou everyone for your best wishes.
I am finding things so hard. I am still waiting for her to appear from another room.
I am hoping I will get her back on tuesday. I just want her home with me.
Lea.

Lea it gets easier I promise and instead of crying when you think of her you will smile at the memories. She knew you loved her and you were there when she really needed you so dont feel guilty about things that happened in the past.
Mary

She knew she was loved. Our dogs are so forgiving and don't hold grudges, after all she protected you didn't she. One thing I am sure of she will not go off with your ex at Rainbow Bridge but will be waiting for you and no-one else.

Due to something else that has happened I looked back on this post. I thought I never would, I think I wish I never had, as am sitting here in tears. for the last week Gemma has been in my mind so much. It has now been 6 months since she went, Her ashes are still on my mantle piece. But I didnt think of her as much. T?he other day I thought I saw her, but relised it was Ebba, and I have no idea why. I havnt mistaked Ebba for Gemma ever. I also open the side door of the van expecting her to be there, even though she was only with me for 8 weeks in the van.
So why am I suddenly thinking about Gemma 6 momths on (I have never forgotten her and always think of her just not to this extent)but why so much???
Lea.

I find I am thinking about Joy like crazy right now as well (and she went around 6 months ago too).  For me, its because I am questioning whether or not I am ready to get another Springer, as if I look at her post on here, or if I look at her picture on my website, I cry.

I found, for the first couple months, every time it hit the 7th of that month, I thought of my Joy and cried.  Then it staggered off for a bit, and now is back. 

Take care of yourself during this time.  There is no magical number or date, as to when grief will pass, or come back.  Gemma made an impression so strong on you.  It is natural to miss her, and its another cycle in your grief process.

(((((hugs)))))

>So why am I suddenly thinking about Gemma 6 momths on

I am not religious and do not believe in afterlife.  I do believe that those who are loved live on in the hearts of those who loved them. 

Sometimes when you least expect it something jolts a memory.  When you get an unexpected reminder it makes sense that will trigger you to think about her more and so trigger more memories.  Like Crespin says, it's natural to miss her because she meant so much to you.

I know how you must be feeling Lea,
Its mean just over a year since my Mika passed on, I still miss him dearly and my children keep asking is he ok in his new life.

I have just managed to put a lovely picture of him in my lounge, and the other day I called my younger dog (same breed) Mika and I felt so sad, cried that I had mistaken the name, I had to sit quietly for a few minutes.

I do still expect my Mika to be in is special places where he laid in my kitchen even after a year has passed.
And when I called the groomers the other day to book my younger boy in, they immediatily asked if it was Mika coming, it still very much hurts
sorry need to write off xx

I understand totally.  I've lost a few over the years and think of them often.  It doesn't take much to get a lump in the throat again, an advert on tv or seeing a dog in the street.  These are my lost but not forgotten babies.
Tango, my Sharpei, Bonny, SBT, Rex and Sheba, x-breeds and Rhona and Ellie, GSDs.  I still miss them terribly and always will.  Even writing this has bought a lump to the throat and tears to the eyes.  I'm sure we're all the same and no matter how many we lose, it doesn't get any easier.

Oh dear Lea , I can totally relate to how you,re feeling we lost our girls about the same time didn,t we?
I,m like you and still have Ingas ashes on a shelf (I.ll never bury her here with these awful neighbours of ours next door ) I,m waitinjg to find somewhere else to live and let her rest in peace.
I still find it really hard ,I think the fact she was the last of our own puppies was one of the hardest things to deal with.
Just keep trying to let more time pass as I am but quite often I have a little weep when I think of her she was an absolute lady, I could go anywhere with her and still miss her dreadfully.
If I didn,t have my little she devil to keep me going I,d really be in a sorry state.
Keep smiling Lea have a cry if you want to and feel free to PM me anytime you want.
Love Sharon.